Authentic Manhood

What is a real man?

What do women want in a man? A real man. There is a real man inside of every man, but it takes strength and courage to live beyond social masks, gender stereotypes, and conventional ideas of how to be manly. Being a real man requires taking responsibility to express his masculine traits in positive, compassionate ways – not the ugly, insensitive ways that have given manhood a bad name. Manhood is glorious! This world needs real men.  

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We all know the standard images of true manhood: the warrior, the wise man, the romeo, etc. A real man isn’t like that—he’s better.

A real man is tender, sensitive, caring, loving, devoted. He is what you need in a father, a husband, a lover, and most of all, a true friend. He seeks understanding, not so much for himself as for his loved ones, for their upliftment, to release them from confusion and negative patterns. His compassion for their suffering pushes him by day and keeps him awake at night. Searching. Praying. Insisting. Finding.

He brings discipline, upholds standards, imparts values. He is a rock, an ocean. He can handle and absorb his woman’s enormous energy without being intimidated by it. He pays attention. A woman craves manly attention because his consciousness feeds her, and makes her bloom. He validates her by seeing her, appreciating her, and needing her.

A true man cuts through the problems of life with dispassion, discernment, and decisiveness. He’ll think truly, deeply, consulting God and everyone, and following the trail of truth wherever it leads him — even at the cost of convenience and preference. All from a deep and abiding devotion, this personal consideration of all his beloveds.

He sees his world and responds to its needs. He gives detailed attention to what would please, what would delight, what would further. Is this bed too high? Too low? He applies the creative force needed to produce desired effects on the physical, emotional, and spiritual level.

But a true man is never a people pleaser. He is beyond society, convention, politics, opinion. That’s how he can make Solomon-like decisions. And that’s how he can live free — as himself.

Back to what God made

Where are the real men these days? Behind the social masks of unreal men, they are still here. Precious few men embrace their own true manliness, with its considerable risks and responsibilities. But until a man walks on that high wire, he won’t consistently express his male qualities in their fully positive forms. That’s why we’ve all suffered from overbearing fathers, unresponsive husbands, self-righteous and opinionated leaders, and just plain unmanly men.

When men won’t be Men, commitment becomes destructive servitude, foolish accommodation. Intelligence becomes self-serving, immoral cleverness. Natural assertiveness becomes brutish domination and destructive anger. Healthy detachment becomes insensitivity, indifference. Creative power becomes obsessive hobbies and proud, meaningless accomplishments. Even-handed discernment becomes rigid opinion defended with too many facts taken out of context. Global responsibility becomes self-survival, or narrow family pride. Tender love becomes animal lust and routine release. — Despicable!

Thank God, no one can really change what God has made. Our glorious gender characteristics persist no matter what we try to do with or without them. Any man who truly understands his masculine nature and makes peace with it can be the man he truly is, and wants to be.

He’s the man we want to see.


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